The question posed by Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady”, “why can’t a woman be more like a man?’ Men always say they don’t “get” women. So, Glamour asked a few men what they’re so confused about. Here are some of the things they said:

• “Why are women so afraid of bugs but can regularly pour hot wax on their bodies and rip hair out by its roots?”

• “I don’t get why getting married so soon is so important to most women. Is love not enough?”

• “I don’t get why girls say one thing and mean something different. Like when they say, ‘You can watch the game,’ and then when you do, you get in trouble.”

• “Why do girls not like other girls when they first meet them? It’s as if they have to prove themselves to each other before they’ll consider them acceptable to hang out with.”

Just Asking … OK, girls, can you explain these things? What are some things guys do that you absolutely don’t understand?

I was talking with a friend of mine who works on one of the local TV stations the night Michael Jackson died.  This guy came of age in the late 70’s and early 80’s, and he said that Michael Jackson was greater than Elvis.  I almost asked my friend if he’d been drinking.  Greater than Elvis, you say?  I don’t think so.  Michael Jackson wasn’t ever greater than Perry Como. 

First, let’s leave Elvis out of this equation.  Presley was in a league of his own.  The undisputed best-selling solo artist of all time.  Period.

Let’s see how Michael Jackson stacks up against Perry Como as a solo artist, entertainer, and human being.  Perry had 14 number one songs.  Jackson only had 13. (Presley, by the way, had 14 as well).  Perry had his own TV show (The Kraft Music Hall).  Michael never did (that Saturday morning cartoon with the Jackson 5 doesn’t count).  Perry Como never dangled a baby over a balcony.  Perry Como never grabbed his crotch on stage.  Perry was never brought up on child molestation charges.   Perry never slept in an oxygen tank.  Everybody liked Perry Como.  Most people thought Michael was a freak.  I could go on, but the point’s been made.

Michael Jackson may have been great in his day, but he was no Perry Como. 

Here Are Some Reasons Facebook Is SO Last Year (from thefrisky.com) …

1. The Pope is on it …
2. … And so are your parents and relatives you’d rather not know.
3. Facebook viruses are rampant.
4. The photos are too common.
5. Holocaust-deniers and other offensive groups have profiles.
6. Those stupid quizzes are annoying.
7. It makes online stalking too easy.
8. Your partner can dump you just by changing their relationship status.
9. Twitter has made status updates obsolete.
10. No one actually reads your Facebook invitations.
11. It’s the very definition of a fad.

 Am I right?

A California woman says her three toy Chihuahuas cornered a mountain lion that wandered into her garage. Ana Lee Spray, 23, said she was awakened early in the morning by the sound of her three dogs barking like crazy. When she went to investigate, she was shocked to see that her tiny three-pound dogs had cornered an angry-looking mountain lion in the garage. Spray said her three dogs kept the big cat at bay for 45 minutes until Riverside County Sheriff’s deputies arrived. “When they saw the dogs they said ‘These little things?’ When they saw the mountain lion their jaws dropped,” Spray said. “They radioed, ‘This is a full-size mountain lion and it is not happy to see us.” Officers from the Department of Fish and Game subdued the mountain lion with a tranquilizer gun. (originally reported by KTLA News)

  (my chihuahua, Gizmo)

Break-up lines are hard to hear, no matter what they are. But some should be retired to the Break-up Line Hall of Fame, because when guys say ‘em, they don’t exactly mean what’s being said. For example:

1. “I’m just not that into you anymore” Translation: I no longer find you attractive — if I ever did — and the thought of being with you now repulses me. Please don’t cry.

2. “It’s not you, it’s me.” Translation: You want to be in this relationship and I don’t.

3. “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.” Translation: I’m not ready for a relationship with YOU.

4. “You want more than I’m prepared to give.” Translation: You want more than I’m prepared to give to YOU.

5. “I think we’re just meant to be great friends.” Translation: But we can still make out from time to time, can’t we?  I mean, if that’s okay with you.

What’s the worst breakup line you’ve ever heard? What’s the worst one you’ve ever used? How would you want someone to break up with you? Is honesty really the best policy — or would you rather hear the crap?